DMV Blues of the Under Documented

All ambitious projects have snags in them; mine is no exception. I purchased the RV, fine. Now I need to move it perhaps 60 miles down the road from where it currently sits and store it while I decide how and when to do the repairs. Simple, right?

Most people are aware of how challenging it can be to live as an undocumented person in the United States. Most are unaware, however, of how difficult it can be to be under-documented, even if one is actually legally residing here. Just lose more than one piece of ID and see what happens, especially if you were not born in the U.S.

So, here's what had happened was.  First, I lost my certificate of naturalization (my citizenship papers, for the uninitiated). I actually don't believe I lost them. The most likely scenario is that I sent them to the Immigration people (they were called the INS back then) when I petitioned for my ex-husband's green card. They, in turn, never sent it back. If that is not the case, I have other suspicions but I am not at liberty to share them here. Ahem.

Then my passport got disappeared. I know how that happened. After the divorce, I asked my ex-husband to kindly return my passport to me. At the time that I, ah, removed myself from our shared residence, I could not remember the infamous "safe place" where I had put it. My ex-husband told the judge that he had found my passport and that he was riding on a bus in North Carolina when someone stole it from the outer pocket of his book bag. Whatever is making you scratch you head right now, believe me, the judge thought the same things.

Then I lost my driver license. Meaning, it literally fell out of my pocket on my way home from the grocery store. Ironically, as I had left for the store I had thought to myself, wouldn't it be just horrible if I lost this last remaining piece of government issued ID that I have?

Since then I've been skulking about town feeling very much under-documented, using my faculty ID at the grocery store, avoiding friends' gigs at bars, and praying that I never have to drive. Now you catch how hilarious that is, right? I'm going to live in an RV. Hahahaha. Right.

I comfort myself by believing that I am being allowed to experience these things so that I can better empathize with people who suffer silly yet mountingly significant misfortunes, one right after the other. Truly speaking, I cannot judge.

So why haven't I simply gotten a replacement driver license? Well, you see, in order to get a New York State driver license, I must have six points of identification, including one that proves my date of birth. Without citizenship papers or a US birth certificate I have been sort of stuck. Never mind, I thought, I'll just go back to California and get a replacement driver license. Except that, without a driver license or passport or other form of government-issued picture ID, I could neither fly nor drive.

I called the New Jersey Motor Vehicle Commission to find out what I needed to do to register the RV in New Jersey (where I preferred it be registered). It turned out that without a 1) New Jersey 2) driver license, I couldn't register the vehicle in New Jersey. WHO KNEW?! Just because I own a car doesn't mean I'm going to drive the car and why do I have to live in . . . that was not a battle I was going to win so I dropped it. Then I realized that I also could not register the RV in New York since I didn't have a New York license, either. My only option was to register the camper in CALIFORNIA!!! I could get a 20 day temporary registration in New Jersey but I'd have to have a driver license with a picture on it to get it. And, I wasn't going to drive the camper across the country to California quite yet. Especially since I wouldn't be able to produce a driver license in Texas along the way. It's all in the details.

So I called California.

California told me that they could send me a document (an abstract) giving me permission to drive (heeeyyy!) but it would not have a picture on it (ohhhh). I can't use the abstract to register the RV (in any state) or to fly to California. I'd also have to wait 7-10 days to receive it.

I decided to go the the New York State DMV to see if I could get a New York State driver license without presenting one from California. Thankfully, I did recently (finally) replace my citizenship papers. It took four  months and cost me $345.00!!! But, with proof of my date of birth, I could finally begin the process of changing my driver license.

With my citizenship certificate, faculty ID, social security card, divorce decree (for name change purposes) a blood sample and a picture of my California driver license in hand I headed for the DMV. I'm kidding about the blood sample but, at the rate things were going, that was about all I going to have left for ID.

Mercifully, the DMV is not far from where I live. The office opens at 8:30am.  I arrived at 8:45am and it already felt crowded. Being there brought back memories of the bad old days when going to the DMV meant an all day venture into officious hell and the even badder old days of lining up outside the INS at four a.m. in the dead of winter like cows waiting to be milked. Except the cows got a barn!

Things have really changed, though. The line moved quickly and the clerk was very courteous. I discovered that all I need is the abstract of my California driver license (yaaaayyy) and the documents that I already have to get the New York State license.  Then, with proof of insurance, I can register the  RV. See? Simple. I was on the bus and on my way back home at 9:15.  I'll be back at the DMV in 7-10 days.